“Sir, I’m going to need you to put your mask up over your nose.”
As I spoke I tried to keep the irritation out of my voice, but I was growing tired of having to remind my patients of the mask policy at our clinic. Some of them just couldn’t seem to get it.
“Now my blood pressure is really going to go up,” he groused before grudgingly sliding the mask back up into proper position. “I’ve got a big problem with these masks,” he complained.
Apparently he had a big problem with a lot of things, because he then launched into a litany of complaints about the government and the mess this country is in.
After listening to him ramble on for a while, I excused myself to go check on his lab results. Shutting the door, I stepped out in the hall and took a deep breath. The man was getting on my nerves!
As I passed the nurses’ station, I did a little grousing of my own to my medical assistant. “This guy’s a grumpy old man,” I complained, before reluctantly heading back to finish the visit.
In the exam room, I tried to redirect the conversation to some lifestyle factors I had concerns about. When I mentioned these things put him at risk for cancer, he looked startled and said, with a catch in his voice, “My mother’s got cancer. She’s in the hospital right now.”
Suddenly, everything fell into place. This man whom I’d labeled a “grumpy old man” was actually grieving and scared. In his pain he was striking out at anything and anyone. His anger and frustration were really a cry for help.
I left that room a few minutes later feeling ashamed. I’d judged this man without knowing about him, put a label on him without knowing his heart. I’d been ready to write him off, without first walking in his shoes. I call myself a Christian, but at that moment “Pharisee” felt like a more appropriate term.
Ephesians 4:2 tells us, “Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.”
We all have bad days and each day we come in contact with others who are having bad days too. They rub us the wrong way, get on our nerves, make us want to scream. It’s easy to label them, when what we really need to do is love them, be patient with them, and make allowance for their faults.
You see the thing is, we don’t know their story. We don’t know what makes them act that way. We can’t feel their pain or know their despair. We’ve never walked in their shoes. Until we do we need to give them a little grace, the benefit of the doubt, and maybe a moment of our time to just let them vent.
Who knows? If we take the time to listen we may discover inside some of these “grumpy old men” there are hurting souls just needing a listening ear and to know that they are loved.